Rogers - Write of Way | Writing For Your Life |

| Social Communication |

When I was on sabbatical studying at the University at Buffalo, I loved walking through the hallways. It wasn't just that Buffalo is one cold place in the winter and that I was glad to be indoors. I liked looking at the cartoons many professors posted on bulletin boards outside their office. They were a kind of inkblot test; you know, the kind that reveals your personality when you describe what you see. Posting cartoons was a form of social communication at UB, and the cartoons displayed in the education, engineering, and law faculties were very different.

When we gaze at all those birthday cards and pick out the one that best expresses our feelings, we are engaging in social communication. In my family of origin, my brothers and sister have developed a fondness for saucy, humorous cards that we pass round on those wonderful visits at my mum and dad's cottage on Lake Erie. The cards might seem a little harsh to outsiders, but we know we are all whistling in the graveyard, tweaking the beards of Father and Mother Time. We all enjoy exchanging those cards; it's not unusual to see my sons and daughter helping Linda and me find the one that is just right.

These communications matter. This section of the Write of Way Web pages considers ideas about applying what we have learned about writing to ensure that our toasts at weddings, our invitations to parties, our thank-you notes, our friendly letters—all our writing for our friends and family—express what is in our hearts and heads. An introductory writing text like Write of Way cannot do justice to all the different kinds of social communication—there are just too many—but it can provide some general advice and some illustrative examples. I hope you find them helpful and that you will seek out examples of social correspondence not covered here. You can use those examples to help you create your own. You may also want to search your library for books such as The Art of Letter Writing (Blumenthal) or the classic Handbook of Social Correspondence (Taintor and Monro).

Creating the Content of Our Social Writing

The COSA formula asserts that the most important element of effective writing is the content. Nowhere is this more true than when we write to our family and friends. The best social writing will embrace the people we love, support them, and make them stronger, better people. The beginning of creating our messages will still be—surprisingly, perhaps—brainstorming and musing about what we want to say. And we will once again find ourselves thinking deeply about our audience and how we can create a message that will meet the needs of our recipient, those needs for information and a show of respect. Take notes. Remember the COSA formula; it will help you write social correspondence.

Research to write effective social communication

Imagine that you've been asked to toast the bride. Research is the key to a wedding toast that will make people feel the significance of the occasion. I don't mean research in a library. I mean that you've got to review your memories of the bride and that you may want to talk with family and friends. What will make a sense of occasion is a very personalized message. You need to create content that tells a specific story about the bride. As you remember and hear stories about her, consider what your audience needs.

When you give a toast to the bride, you've got more than one audience. You'll want your words to make the bride feel honoured and loved, but you'll also want to meet the needs of the groom, parents, and guests. You'll be looking for a brief story that can show the bride's qualities that auger well that the couple will thrive in their marriage, a story of loyalty to a childhood friend, a story of courage, a story that shows the bride's sense of humour or fair play.

Although the demands of a toast, friendly letter or a thank-you note are different, they share that they will mean more if you have researched so that the specific details you include in your communication will show you are speaking personally to a unique being. You are not making a communication that is generic, one-size-suits-all. Even if you have carefully chosen a commercial card to express your sentiments—and picked one so well that its words do express what is in your heart and head—you may want to add some personal touch, some specific comment that could only be addressed to that particular recipient.

Identify your main point

If you're issuing an invitation to come and visit your family, your main point is, simply, "We would love you to come and visit us." For a notice in the newspaper of congratulations to a new graduate, make sure that that point is made clearly: "Congratulations to Dan Kozar on his graduation from the Educational Resources and Special Needs program at Niagara College."

Include specific details that support and exemplify your main point

After you make your main point, add the appropriate detail that will inform your audience about the specifics of that point. Dan's announcement might continue with these sentences: "Dan received his diploma at the graduation ceremony on May 21, 2002. He is currently working for the Community Living Association of Niagara at a residential home for developmentally challenged adults. Your family is proud of you, Dan."

For many communications, such as invitations to parties, be careful to include all the information needed by the reader: the location, date, time, perhaps even directions. It's important to get those details right: You don't want your long-lost aunt showing up at the wrong funeral!

For an annual letter to family and friends—often sent as a kind of Christmas card—write enough detail that readers can picture the successes—and failures—of the family members. The detail makes it much more interesting for your readers.

Organizing Our Social Writing

Each specific type of social writing will require organization that is somewhat different, but still there are a few general guidelines that will apply. Any type of letter can be organized the same way you organize a business letter. And, of course, when you're using commercial wedding, shower, or birth announcements or party invitations, the professionals have organized for you; you need only fill in the blanks (although adding a handwritten note will give your messages a personal touch that will be appreciated by the recipients).

Start with the most important point

For much of your social correspondence, you will make a strong impression on your reader by beginning with your most important point. Even birth announcements tend to heed this advice:

GICANTE/KOTYK—Adam and Rebecca are pleased to announce the birth of Danielle Shelagh on September 17, 1999. She was well worth the wait. The new sister to Michelle weighed 6 lbs. 11 oz. Proud grandparents are Tony and Michelle Gicante and Tito and Kim Kotyk.

Creating a Good Appearance for Social Writing

Newspapers will tend to create and follow standard formats for birth, death, wedding and other social announcements. And, of course, when you use commercial invitations or cards, you'll be choosing products that look good to you.

When you are writing a personal letter to invite guests to dinner or to express thanks for a gift, pick a heavier stock of paper than you would use for an academic essay, even if you will be laser printing your correspondence. You might want to pick a paper with a subtle colour. You might even personalize your stationery by using your word processing program to add a graphic or consistently using a particular font for your address.

Let's consider an example, a friendly letter. I'm going to use a personal example. Just before I wrote this section of the Write of Way, Linda and I received e-mail from our oldest son. Let me tell you a little about the communication so you can see how it influenced the letter I e-mailed back.

Damian had just started his MA program at the University of Guelph. He wrote us to tell about new Web pages he had created. One was for the undergraduate students for whom he was serving as teaching assistant. There was a link on that page to Damian's personal page, where he keeps a biography and resume.

I enjoyed reading the page. He wrote in a humorous, self-deprecating way about himself, about how it was odd to come from a small city like Niagara Falls, where millions visit, yet few live. Not that he could blame them, he wrote, since there wasn't really that much to do there. Then he went on to say that he had heard some odd comments about his name. A common one was, "That's okay, as long as you don't have a 666 tattooed on your scalp." Damian had taken to replying that he didn't really know what might be tattooed on his head, since he had never shaved it. Then he mentioned that his parents had told him he was named after a saint, but that he had never found evidence of a Saint Damian. Damian went on to say that he had been given his name before the release of the first Omen film. (The films were about the son of the Devil; the son was named Damian.)

Well, that letter took me right back to the birth of our first son. I remembered walking about the delivery room inside the McMaster University Medical Centre, looking into his tiny wrinkled face. (He looked simultaneously like a wizened old man and a human being impossibly young to be out in the world.) And, I remembered how Linda and I chose his name. I wanted to tell him that story again, and so I wrote this letter:

Dear Damian,

When I read on your wonderful new Web page your musings about your name, I was whisked back to a special time in my life: your birth and naming. That naming was hard work. Your mom and I must have considered a thousand names. We even bought a book of names for babies. I remember reading about the name Damon and variations on that spelling. The meaning of the name was constancy. Having come of age in the turbulent late 60's and early 70's, constancy seemed a quality of extraordinary value.

This is what I recall of the story behind your name. Two friends, Damon and Pythias—Greek soldiers, I think—were captured by a king and condemned to death. Damon argued that he could fetch a ransom, and he was freed to seek it. But his vanquished people were in no mood to pay, and Damon had to decide what to do. He returned empty-handed, sure that he and his friend would be killed. The victorious king, though, moved by Damon's show of constancy, freed the friends. A class act all around, eh? When we named you Damian, we hoped you would make yourself a person of constancy. We are proud that you have.

Your mom says that I looked up the name because she mentioned it after hearing it in newscasts about an Olympic skier of the day. She just plain liked the sound of the name.

Oh, by the way—and contrary to your note on your Web page—I am pretty sure there is a least one Saint Damien; he worked courageously with lepers—in Hawaii, of all places. I think there was another Saint Damian, too. (The spelling with an a seems to be Germanic; the French variant is e.)

You take care, Boyco. We'll talk with you soon.

Activity 1: Writing a Letter

Read this sample dinner invitation, and answer the questions:

6161 Dawlish Avenue
Niagara Falls, ON L2G 4J5

August 18, 2002

Dear Pat and Mary,

We would be delighted if you could come to dinner about 7:00 on Friday, August 29.

We have invited another couple, Jane Hughes and Patrick Dunphy, and we think you would enjoy talking with them. Jane is a regional councillor, and Patrick is a community development specialist.

Hope you can come. We've missed you both while you were away on holidays. It would be a delight to sit out on the deck, sip some good white wine, and have a conversation.

Yours sincerely,

Doug and Linda Rogers

Why do you think there is no inside address on this letter?
Here's another suggestion for the first line of the body of the letter:
I hope you both are well. Did you have a good time on your holiday?
Which version is a better beginning for the letter? Why?
Basing your work on the invitation above, write a letter inviting Mary and Ivor Shaw to a hike at the conservation area and a picnic lunch. Make up the information needed to write the invitation. Compare your letter to the suggested answer.

Answers to Activity 1: Writing a Letter

In an informal, personal letter the recipient's address is usually omitted.
The original version is better, principally because it starts with the most important point the letter writer wants to make. The second letter is apt to sound like a mishmash; it will not stay on topic. You can hear about the holiday at the dinner.

September 24, 2002

4212 Franklin Ave, Apt. 103
Fort McMurray, AB T9H 2H7

Dear Mary and Ivor,

Leya and I would like to invite you to come with us for a fall hike and picnic next Saturday, around ten a.m. In an effort to keep at bay the mild depression that seems to creep over us as we say goodbye to summer, we thought it would lift our spirits to look at the conservation area. It would sure be more fun with you two along

We do hope you will join us. It would be a good opportunity to hear what you've been up to over the summer holidays.

Yours truly,

Leya and Maurice Beliveau

Works Cited

Blumenthal, Lassor A. The Art of Letter Writing. New York: Grosset and
Dunlap, 1976.

Taintor, Sarah Augusta, and Kate M. Monro. The Handbook of Social
Correspondence.1936. New York: Macmillan, 1966.

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